XBox Live Support...I am disappoint.

Woke up this morning to the cat shitting in the hedgehog's cage while he cowered in terror inside his castle, the dogs wrestling around in the cabinet under the sink and the bedroom door wide open, even though I was butt-ass naked. Oh, did I mention it was 7:30am?

Yeah, so that was fucking fantastic. Roll with the punches though, right? So I get up, dress, get my morning tobacco breakfast on and then decide to start getting some stuff done around the house.

Step 1, cut a hole in the box... wait, wait, wait... wrong "To Do" list...'

So I cancelled my XBox Live account a while back, never really played online all that much and it seemed like a waste of $8/month. Then I realized (or it changed) that Netflix doesn't work through XBL unless you have an active subscription...That means no streaming goodness on the widescreen unless I re-up my XBL. Well, the CC on my account expired since then, so I'll just enter my new information and be good to go...

Wait a minute, says card information already exists on the account. Well, it IS the same card number, so I'll just update the existing information...

Nope, can't edit security code information...

Well, I'll just remove the old card and reenter everything...

Nope, say balance due... wait WHAT?

*Sigh*

Apparently even though I "cancelled" my XBL service they still tried to charge me every day for a little over a month even though the card information was expired, so my bank flagged it as a fraudulent charge.

*Call Bank*

"Hey there, XBox Live has been charging me using expired information, so the charges were listed as fraud, can you fix that?"

"Sure thing, you should be fine now, just make sure the security code gets changed, because that's what got the charges flagged."

"Thanks!"

[Total time on phone call: ~5 minutes, Eloquence and understandability of agent(located in San Antonio): Excellent]

*Call XBL Support*

*5 minutes of automated directory maze*

*10 minutes of hold music*

"Hallo,thaankyouforcollingEeeksbawksLivesupport.

MynameisManij,whatisyourgamertag?"

"I'm sorry, I entered it during the automated system, did you not receive it?"

"Nosir,canIpleasehaveyourgamertag?"

"Um, sure. N-U-L-L-3-X-3"

"I'msorry,thatisnotcorrect."

"Excuse me?" (I thought she didn't have any information, and that IS my gamertag...)

"DidyoumeanN-U-L-L-3-times-3?"

"..."

"Yeah, sure. That's what I meant"

"Thankyouforyourpatience,howcanIhelpyou?" (keep track of how many times she says that first part)

"I can't renew my XBL subscription because-"

"Haveyougonetobilling.microsoft.com?"

"Yes I have. If you'll just listen to my issue, I'm sure it will make more sense."

"Thankyouforyourpatience. Soyou'retryingtocreateanEeeksbawksLiveaccount. Icanhelpyouwiththatsir."

"..."

"No, no I'm not. I cancelled my XBL account several months ago..."

*5 minutes of explaining the situation, correcting her when she misunderstood completely and waiting on hold while she attempted to run my incorrect card information*

"Thankyouforyourpatience. I'msorrysir,yourpurchasecannotbemadewiththiscard. Itisbeingdeclinedforhavingincorrectinformation."

"I know. That's why I called in the first place. I don't need you to find out the problem, I know what the problem is. My card was expired and so the wrong information is on the account, and I cannot update my information because the billing system will not allow it. I need you to either remove the existing card information from the account so I can re-enter it, or I need you to update the security code."

"Thankyouforyourpatience. Sirwecannotchangeyoursecuritycode. Youwillhavetodothatyourselfonbilling.microsoft.com"

"That is what I have been attempting to tell you for the past 5 minutes. I cannot update my security code on the website. Are you able to remove all of the card information so I can re-enter it manually?"

"Nosir. YouhaveanexistingbalancewithEeeksbawksLiveaccount. YouwillhavetopaythatbeforeIcanremovecardinformation."

"Why do I have a balance? I cancelled my service before the end of the month."

"Thankyouforyourpatience.

EeeksbawksLiveaccountisbilledatthebeginningofeachcyclebeforeserviceisauthorized."

"So I have an outstanding balance because you couldn't charge me for service I wasn't receiving?"

"Yessir."

"..."

"So why was I billed for service?"

"Youwerenotbilled.Servicewascancelledandsonochargewasmade."

"So I have no outstanding balance."

"Thankyouforyourpatience. Thatiscorrect."

"So you can remove my card information now?"

"Nosir. Anoutstandingchargeof$8.65isontheaccount."

*Silent screaming* (This is the point where I started writing this blog entry)

"What service period was this charge for?"

"ThischargewasonSeptember9th,2010"

"Wait, I have not been able to change my card information for approximately 2 months for a charge I attempted to make 2 days ago?"

"Correctsir. Thankyouforyourpatience."

"Ok this is stupid. I want that charge removed so I can renew my service. Please remove it yourself or transfer me to a supervisor who will."

*5 minutes of holding, 2 minutes of re-explaining the situation to her. 5 more minutes of holding*

"Thankyouforyourpatience. Ihaveremovedthefruadulentchargefromyouraccount."

"Thank you. And the expired credit card?"

"Youshouldbeabletoremoveityourself."

"So you cannot remove that information from my account?"

"Yessir. Iamcapableofdoingthat. Ifyouwouldpleasegotobilling.microsoft.comandremovethecardinformation."

"..."
"Okay, fine"

*2 minutes of websurfing and logging in, only to find out that to remove card information you have to go to xbox.com/accountsupport or some shit*

*another 5 minutes of surfing and logging in, changing information and entering a new card.*

"It says that the transaction cannot be processed at this time."

"Yessir. Thankyouforyourpatience. PleaseenterthecardinformationonyourEeeksbawksLive."

"You mean I have to turn on my console and enter all this information again there?"

"ThatiscorrectMisterEeesack"

"..."

"Okay, this is really getting tedious."

*5 minutes of entering information in the XBox and attempting the purchase again.*

"I'm still getting the same error."

"Thatiscorrectsir. Youcanwait24hoursandtrythepurchaseagain,oryoucangotoamazon.comandpurchaseatimecard."

"Wait, what? You're telling me I have to wait a whole day OR go to a third-party retailer?"

"Thankyouforyourpatience."

"That's not even an answer to my question. Is there anything more you can do to help me?"

"Ifyourequirefurtherassistance. PleasefeelfreetocallusbackorgotoEeeksbawks.cawm/support. Goodbye."

"Wait-"

*Disconnect*

"..."

OMG I have never had such trouble TRYING to give someone money.

I could start a whole other rant about the fallacies of outsourced customer service, how using people from a barely-more-than-third-world country (yes I've been over there and trained people, so don't think I'm just making assumptions) who speak English as a third or fourth language is a bad idea, but that's for another time.

The moral of this story is that 2 and a half hours after calling this travesty of an organization, I still don't have XBL and I still can't watch movies in HD on my TV...

I'm out.

Oh my! What could this be? Stay tuned!

Disregard females, acquire currency.

Despite a total lack of finances, I am continuing with my efforts to get product created for Egyptian Dragon's shelves (racks? hangars? lines?). Of course my initial foray was to create Jill's "uniform" to wear while she is working in the shop, but unfortunately, I decided to purchase her fabric from Mall-Wart, on the grounds that it was 50% off.
Inevitably, the zombie manning the fabric counter cut an incorrect amount of EVERY fabric I selected, leaving me with barely enough black fabric for the overskirt (and therefore none for the matching panels on the bodice), and not even enough blue to complete the underskirt, much less the bodice. The mild consolation is that the cream fabric I purchased was either 120" wide or cut improperly, so I got double the amount I paid for. That being said, I have no idea what I'm going to do with this much cream fabric (maybe make a shirt for myself and some for the shop?).

[ This space intentionally left Blank ]

See the world in a haze of smoke and filth.
(The killer washes his hands of the life of one victim in the blood of the next un-

Oh fuck this.

I was going to rewrite a poem I did many years ago, lyricise it to use for a new Orchids in January song, but then I realized that it's shit.

I don't write enough anymore. Too many things on my plate distracting my attention. Since it's my calling, my One True Skill if you will, it's irresponsible of me to not write.

I know I'm three months late, but I'll make it my new-years resolution to write something in here every day, even if it's just a blurb about my day, a laundry list of activities. Even though no one reads this I'll try to make it a bit interesting for posterity's sake at least.

So, what to post?...

We've all been sick, both at home and the office. It's like a damn plague factory around me. Missed work, pressurized skulls and blocked ears are the norm in my vicinity. Despite these tribble-ations, I've been soldiering through, working through VPN when I'm too sick to make it into work.

I don't think I've talked about Orchids in January on here yet. OiJ is my new band formed with an old friend and now-roomate, Mikael. I personally hate labeling music genres, but if I must, I'd call it Indie Rock. We've played a few shows now at the Red Eyed Fly, and every one is more and more kick-ass. Taking a little break for now, as we're trying to get a DIY recording done in time for our shows during SXSW. No, we're not actually playing at SXSW, but we're going to have shows in downtown during the festival, so we're hoping for a good turnout. For those rare ones who might stumble across this blog and are interested in merch, it's available on my CafePress page, but if there is enough advance interest, we can make them available for purchase at the shows for cheaper (also, we have Stickers! Go vandalize the town in support of the band!). CDs will be available as well, as soon as we get the mp3s uploaded.

On the visceral side of life, I've also started an airsoft team, The Murder of Crows. So far we've only got one fireteam established, but hopefully we can gain more members or meet up with other teams and get something really fun going. We're looking for opponents as well, so if you're interested, let us know. We're not going super-hardcore right now, mainly because high-end rifles are expensive. Entry-level weapons are good enough for what we're looking to do right now anyway, and a lot more in our collective price range. It's all about the fun right now, and if we got enough people in our own group (8-10), and found somewhere to play (park, undeveloped lot, etc) then we'd be set.

On the costuming and recreation front, I got to hang out with Adam (405th admin) other day, who showed me a new take on the weathering method, so I should finally get my CQB and Jill's Recon buckets done. I was attempting to make them look all nice and new, like in the game, but they look too fake like that, so I'm going with the battleworn style. Also, I was invited to help make some suits with Adam, and the implication was that I'd get at least part of a suit in exchange for my work, so that's pretty badass and I might have a wearable suit sooner than I thought. We'll see what happens though. Pics will be posted (at least of the helmet) once the weathering is done. I still need to get gold visors for both helmets, nice padding and trim, and electronics (fans, lights, switches, etc), but that's a bit down the road.

Anywho, I'm kinda outta steam at this point, this blog post has taken hours here at work (i've been typing on and off between working). So I'm gonna stop for now. I'll try to post some fiction later tonight or as my post tomorrow.

I hate paranormal romance with a passion...

...any kind of romance novels for that matter. Sorry if it's your cuppa-t, but the vapid, overdone storylines are just impossibly tasteless to swallow.

Lets see if I can become a "#1 Bestselling Author!" like is listed on EVERY ROMANCE NOVEL EVER!!!1!!1!!11one >.<

*ahem* (in the following synopsis, pick one or more of the items listed in each color for each section to complete the sentence)

Sweet/innocent/cute/sexy girl who is a vampire hunter/orphan/cop/detective/werewolf is having a rough personal life because her boyfriend/buddy cop/partner/lover/boss/master has died/been killed by other monsters/been killed by her/committed suicide/found another lover/turned gay. Meanwhile, a body/corpse/victim/skeleton/arcane circle/nun is found in a local alley/bar/her apartment/strip club/vampire hangout and our heroine has to solve the mystery because she's accused/bored/fearful/vindictive/horny. While getting started she runs into a mysterious man/vampire/werewolf/scottish highlander/alien/demon/ghost who draws her to him with his irresistable/unrelenting/exotic/deep/throbbing passion/lust/looks/soul/manhood even though he's the killer/killer/killer/killer/killer. The story drags on for numerous improbable/outlandish/impractical/fantastic soft-core sex scenes, in which his hard/firm/rigid/rocky/hot/warm/immense/throbbing/pulsing/seeking/flexing manhood/manliness/shaft/erection/pole/hardness/masculinity performs impossible feats of ecstasy/desire/lust/transportation, then culminates in her realizing the obvious, that he's the killer/killer/killer/killer/killer, and she's forced to kill him/ignore the fact and make love to him again/kill herself/have an emotional discussion about how they can never be together because she's jewish/kill her ex/hide him from the police/turn him into a vampire/turn him into a wolf/turn him into a demon and then through some incomprehensible plot twist, she ends up alone at the end so that the series can continue.

Woo! now I'm "ZOMG #1 BESTSELLING AUTHOR EVAR!" Just like Hamillton, Kenyon, Harris and all those other pen names for the romance novel industry's pool of hack writers. (Oh, you didn't know that? You thought that the overly made-up woman on the back cover who "takes time out of enjoying the Vegas nightlife to set down her martini and write" [a no-shit direct excerpt from a back cover] really did all the writing? Silly person)

Anyway, time to sleep. Moar rage later.

FTW

So there I am, minding my own business, playing some Aion (more on that awesomeness in a minute), when my cell rings. I answer it and...wait, wait, wait. For this story to make any sense, we need a little flashback action *Does the Wayne's World wriggly finger motion* Doodle-loo! Doodle-loo! Doodle-loo!

[Two Weeks Ago]
So I'm browsing through Craigslist for jobs, and lo and behold, amongst the innumerable job scams and work-from-home pyramid schemes, I spy a well-written, readable ad. And it's for a company I recognize and love, Half-Price Books. Ad says: Want moneys? Come fill out application and get jobzored. (Ok, ok, so I paraphrased a teensy bit) So I roll up to the Round Rock HPB, completed application in hand and drop it off. The cutie behind the counter smiling coquettishly at me and promising to let the manager know I stopped by. A few days later I get a phone call; the assistant manager at HPB wants to know if I'm available the next day to come by for an interview, "But of course, good sir." I replied. 24-ish hours later, I'm sitting in a comfortable chair in HPB, reading a bit of tasty Halo fiction when I'm called to the office. Sitting down with the managers to have a lovely discussion about Books, Comics, Role-playing games and steampunk. Oh yeah, and we talked about hiring me too *grins*. "We'll call you Monday about the position" they gladly inform me. Well monday comes and goes without a call. A little let down, I shrug and continue my until-now, fruitless searching. Thursday rolls up, all angry and in-your-face; and after an extremely depressing let-down from NCSoft about the job there, I get a call. It's the assistant mangager from HPB, letting me know that he was really pushing for me to get hired, due to my literary experience and tastes (that's right kiddos, people want to hire me because I read cyber- and steampunk), but was overruled by the store manager in favor of another applicant. Thanking him for his honesty, I hang up, returning my now-bloody nose to the perpetual grindstone.

[Meanwhile, back at the Ranch (I mean the present)]
So there I am, minding my own business, playing some Aion (man, I just got the weirdest feeling of deja vu), when my cell rings. I answer it and its the store manager from Half-Price Books. "Is Isaac there?" she asks. "Right here, baby. Wha-chu want?" is my sultry reply. (ok so now I'm just taking gross artistic license with the actual facts) "Well, I was wondering if you might still be interested in the position at HPB, we liked your interview so much, we were very disappointed we didn't have enough positions. I petitioned the district manager, and she authorized us to hire an additional employee, and were wondering if you could come in Tuesday @ 11am to start training?"

Hell.

Fucking.

Yeah.

So, the job hunt is over, the training begins. So does teh leet moneys and all that.

[Next topic]
Aion. Dizzam, what can't I say about this game. Yeah, so I didn't get the Game Master position for Aion, or the Paid Beta Tester position either. I'm not holding a grudge against the game over that though.
Awesomely Appropriate Acts of Alliteration Aside, this is really the most beautiful MMO I've seen. Starting right from character creation, NCSoft continues the exceptionally detailed character generator it debuted in City of Heroes/Villains, taking it to the next level with 22 Facial presets, 6 body presets and 4 voice presets. Once the basics are finalized, players have 38 hairstyles, 17 face shapes, 18 facial decorations and 13 tattoo/scar/piercing choices, not to mention the full RGB color selection for hair color, and faction-appropriate RGB tables for lip and skin colors. (By the way, that's just male characters. Females have their own complete set up) As long as I'm doing my math correctly, that's 1,567,268,352 character design combinations, assuming you only use the hair/lip/skin color presets and don't delve into the RGB tables at all. Holy crap you say? But wait there's more! Now that you've chiseled out the main look of your character, there's an "Advanced" settings tab. 0.0! Face and Body are separated into two categories, with 25 sliders to tweak facial shape and 12 sliders for the body (Females have 13 because they have a booby size slider too). Add all this to the 2 factions, male or female character choice, 4 basic character classes, each with 2 subclasses, and you have an overflowing cornucopia of character creation goodness!

I'm too tired to go into the actual game (besides, I want to get back to playing ^.^) so I'll type another blog tomorrow about the gameplay.

(For the curious, Females have 23 facial presets, 6 body presets, 4 voices, 44 hairstyles, 20 face shapes, 7 facial decorations, 18 tattoo/scars, 25 face sliders, 13 body sliders and the same color choices, for a final possible combination total of 1,149,603,840 choices).

Well, I havn't posted in quite some time.

The combined stressors of moving (twice), joblessness and the general malaise of unease have fallen upon me and sapped my will to write, draw or otherwise emote, something I'm working really hard to push past. Hopefully this will help.

I've been working on handicrafts recently, pushing various forums of expression. My initial project is a recreation of the Hazardous Environment Suit (HEV) from Half-Life 2, that our daring hero, Gordon Freeman wears to battle the extra-dimensional aliens and the establishment. The armor is being created from #110 Cardstock, with the assistance of a rather novel piece of software called Pepakura, which translates 3d models such as .obj files into a useable format. Simplistically, with the aid of the user, Pepakura unfolds the model into flat shapes suitable for printing on paper. Thus unfolded, the now-flat shapes are ennumerated and lined, then printed. The inked sheets may now be cut apart and glued together to recreated the original 3d model in physical format.
That's all well and good, but cardstock isn't very suitable for costuming, so the next step is to line the interior of the piece with fibreglass and resin as well as resining the outside, which once dry, creates a quite solid, if still rough-looking creation. Thirdly, auto body filler (or Bondo) is spread along the outer faces of the model, to smooth and give definition to the piece. An alternate method is nicknamed "rondo" where the liquid resin and the paste bondo are combined, and the resulting compound is painted to the outside, giving a smoother finish that requires less sanding. The final step is painting and sealing, and I'll be using enamel-based spray paints for this step, from the wonderful people @ Rust-o-leum. Since Mssr. Freeman's armor is supposed to be metallic or at least ferro-ceramic in origin, I'll be sealing the armor with a Clear Gloss, possibly even automotive clearcoat if I can acquire access to a spray system.

My other project is a nice pair of goggles. They began as generic green plastic brazing goggles with an elastic strap. So far, I've repainted the eye cups with a nice metallic charcoal color, replaced the far-too-shiny connection chain with a nicely tarnished bit of brass ceiling fan pull chain and fashioned a pair of wire lens retainers from silver solder and brass wire, which will attach around the lenses. Still on the to-do list is: Paint the lens covers with a novel paint that replicates a hammered metal finish, procure a strap of black leather rawhide to function as a strap and possibly retint the lenses to give a reflective finish and recolor a neat little jeweler's loupe attachment, although that last I may leave as is for a bit of color contrast and to make it look a bit more hodgepodge.
Having not soldered for quite some time, I am actually rather impressed at how well the lens retainers turned out. Not horribly trashy, but not too professional-looking either. Just the sort of thing a busy and absent-minded inventor would have thrown together to help himself out. Now I need to pull together the rest of the outfit. For that matter, I need to finalize my mental image of my character. Chris, my roommate and writer of A Blog-worthy Life! has already finished his Steam Engineer Outfit, so I don't want to impinge on his purview.
The ideas I have floating around my cavernously empty skull are thus:

• Steampunk Inventor, replete with threadbare vest over a shirt stained with mysterious chemicals, pinstriped pants dropping to scuffed leather shoes and some kind of lab/over-coat, then add plenty of weird gadgetry and clockwork mechanisms for flair.
• Gaslamp Western Vigilante, think Deadlands. Dark, Wyatt Earp-ian Frock Coat, Decorative Vest, crisp shirt with gartered sleeves, tailored pants tucking into knee-high boots, Leather duster hat with goggles strapped around the crown, ray-pistol in a thigh holster, possibly at a bit of a Steampunk Knight flair to the outfit with an expanding shield and Tesla-sword.

So, there they are, ephemeral and vapid, but I'll pin one down soon enough. Suggestions or comments certainly appreciated.

Still searching for a job, the local economy is rather difficult, as everyone is searching for experienced help, degreed help or other requirements that equal not me. 10-20 resumes emailed daily is my usual number. So far, 80% get no response, 15% are some kind of pyramid scheme or scam, and the final 5% turn into an interview. Recently, that final 5% has been NCSoft, to Beta-Test for Aion and Half-Price Books, to be a Book Buyer. Both turned into nothing, but I was "assured that [I was] one of the highest-ranked candidates for the position." Empty words, since if I was really that qualified, why didn't I get the job? Oh well. So this is my major stressor, the sheer effort of beating the digital pavement searching for a company looking to hire someone with virtually no experience at more than minimum wage. (I have a black towel over my head as I type this, and apparently I look like a Shadow Thief, from the novelette "Peter and the Shadow-Theives," according to Cassidy anyway.) I really hate to do this, but I've started applying at restaurants as a server, waiter, bartender, bitch, you name it. Oddly enough, a lot of these places are requiring 1-3 years of waiting experience...It's strange, I know, waiting jobs are supposed to be entry-level. Yes that means you should be able to get it with zero experience. Anyway, it just makes it harder to get work, because while I waited and bartended for Mangia Pizza, it was only for 5 months.

Anyway, sorry to take up so much of your time, here's a picture of a member of the feline species, who possesses a poor grasp of grammar, the accepted currency of the interwebs.