Saturday, September 11, 2010

XBox Live Support...I am disappoint.

Woke up this morning to the cat shitting in the hedgehog's cage while he cowered in terror inside his castle, the dogs wrestling around in the cabinet under the sink and the bedroom door wide open, even though I was butt-ass naked. Oh, did I mention it was 7:30am?

Yeah, so that was fucking fantastic. Roll with the punches though, right? So I get up, dress, get my morning tobacco breakfast on and then decide to start getting some stuff done around the house.

Step 1, cut a hole in the box... wait, wait, wait... wrong "To Do" list...'

So I cancelled my XBox Live account a while back, never really played online all that much and it seemed like a waste of $8/month. Then I realized (or it changed) that Netflix doesn't work through XBL unless you have an active subscription...That means no streaming goodness on the widescreen unless I re-up my XBL. Well, the CC on my account expired since then, so I'll just enter my new information and be good to go...
Wait a minute, says card information already exists on the account. Well, it IS the same card number, so I'll just update the existing information...
Nope, can't edit security code information...
Well, I'll just remove the old card and reenter everything...
Nope, say balance due... wait WHAT?
Apparently even though I "cancelled" my XBL service they still tried to charge me every day for a little over a month even though the card information was expired, so my bank flagged it as a fraudulent charge.
*Call Bank*
"Hey there, XBox Live has been charging me using expired information, so the charges were listed as fraud, can you fix that?"
"Sure thing, you should be fine now, just make sure the security code gets changed, because that's what got the charges flagged."
[Total time on phone call: ~5 minutes, Eloquence and understandability of agent(located in San Antonio): Excellent]
*Call XBL Support*
*5 minutes of automated directory maze*
*10 minutes of hold music*
"I'm sorry, I entered it during the automated system, did you not receive it?"
"Um, sure. N-U-L-L-3-X-3"
"Excuse me?" (I thought she didn't have any information, and that IS my gamertag...)
"Yeah, sure. That's what I meant"
"Thankyouforyourpatience,howcanIhelpyou?" (keep track of how many times she says that first part)
"I can't renew my XBL subscription because-"
"Yes I have. If you'll just listen to my issue, I'm sure it will make more sense."
"Thankyouforyourpatience. Soyou'retryingtocreateanEeeksbawksLiveaccount. Icanhelpyouwiththatsir."
"No, no I'm not. I cancelled my XBL account several months ago..."
*5 minutes of explaining the situation, correcting her when she misunderstood completely and waiting on hold while she attempted to run my incorrect card information*
"Thankyouforyourpatience. I'msorrysir,yourpurchasecannotbemadewiththiscard. Itisbeingdeclinedforhavingincorrectinformation."
"I know. That's why I called in the first place. I don't need you to find out the problem, I know what the problem is. My card was expired and so the wrong information is on the account, and I cannot update my information because the billing system will not allow it. I need you to either remove the existing card information from the account so I can re-enter it, or I need you to update the security code."
"Thankyouforyourpatience. Sirwecannotchangeyoursecuritycode."
"That is what I have been attempting to tell you for the past 5 minutes. I cannot update my security code on the website. Are you able to remove all of the card information so I can re-enter it manually?"
"Nosir. YouhaveanexistingbalancewithEeeksbawksLiveaccount. YouwillhavetopaythatbeforeIcanremovecardinformation."
"Why do I have a balance? I cancelled my service before the end of the month."
"So I have an outstanding balance because you couldn't charge me for service I wasn't receiving?"
"So why was I billed for service?"
"So I have no outstanding balance."
"Thankyouforyourpatience. Thatiscorrect."
"So you can remove my card information now?"
"Nosir. Anoutstandingchargeof$8.65isontheaccount."
*Silent screaming* (This is the point where I started writing this blog entry)
"What service period was this charge for?"
"Wait, I have not been able to change my card information for approximately 2 months for a charge I attempted to make 2 days ago?"
"Correctsir. Thankyouforyourpatience."
"Ok this is stupid. I want that charge removed so I can renew my service. Please remove it yourself or transfer me to a supervisor who will."
*5 minutes of holding, 2 minutes of re-explaining the situation to her. 5 more minutes of holding*
"Thankyouforyourpatience. Ihaveremovedthefruadulentchargefromyouraccount."
"Thank you. And the expired credit card?"
"So you cannot remove that information from my account?"
"Yessir. Iamcapableofdoingthat."
"Okay, fine"
*2 minutes of websurfing and logging in, only to find out that to remove card information you have to go to or some shit*
*another 5 minutes of surfing and logging in, changing information and entering a new card.*
"It says that the transaction cannot be processed at this time."
"Yessir. Thankyouforyourpatience. PleaseenterthecardinformationonyourEeeksbawksLive."
"You mean I have to turn on my console and enter all this information again there?"
"Okay, this is really getting tedious."
*5 minutes of entering information in the XBox and attempting the purchase again.*
"I'm still getting the same error."
"Thatiscorrectsir. Youcanwait24hoursandtrythepurchaseagain,oryoucangotoamazon.comandpurchaseatimecard."
"Wait, what? You're telling me I have to wait a whole day OR go to a third-party retailer?"
"That's not even an answer to my question. Is there anything more you can do to help me?"
"Ifyourequirefurtherassistance. PleasefeelfreetocallusbackorgotoEeeksbawks.cawm/support. Goodbye."

OMG I have never had such trouble TRYING to give someone money.
I could start a whole other rant about the fallacies of outsourced customer service, how using people from a barely-more-than-third-world country (yes I've been over there and trained people, so don't think I'm just making assumptions) who speak English as a third or fourth language is a bad idea, but that's for another time.

The moral of this story is that 2 and a half hours after calling this travesty of an organization, I still don't have XBL and I still can't watch movies in HD on my TV...

I'm out.